Truth Day – I’m Doing Too Much   1 comment

Today (yesterday) was a truth day. That’s what I call the first day of menstruation when I am forcefully made aware of problems in my life that need to be resolved. This was an interesting truth day. Usually they fall into two categories: hunky-dory and “I need a cry and a hug please” downer days. I like the hunky-dory months best. Not just because the day goes by okay, but also because it means that I don’t have any personal blockages at that time. I’m not as much of a fan of the downer days (who is?). The biggest problem with the downer days is not the day itself, it’s realizing that I have a personal blockage that I don’t want to fix. If I wanted to fix it, it wouldn’t get stuck. My recent personal blockages have mostly been communication based. Learning how to walk that thin line of not nagging and not martyring when communicating with my husband has been kind of like pin ball using downer days to make me realize when something needs fixing. (Although it is comforting to know that I can’t accidentally self-martyr; I’ll realize it at least when I get the downer day.)

This month, though, was both a hunky-dory day and a downer day. The day started bad. Dizzy, nauseous, wobbly, exhausted, draggy, and near tears. That was my morning. It was great. The personal blockage: I’m doing to much. I’m trying to work full time without using my vacation time before we move, scrub a new 1,500 sq.ft house top to bottom, deal with getting the house move-in-ready (locksmith, A/C tune up, electrician, phone, address change, refrigerator, …), and deal with getting new floors in place in time. I know that I’m not going to get a day to relax for a couple more weeks, and I promise that I will take at least a couple of weeks to just enjoy our new house after we move. I sat there at my desk feeling down this morning and not seeing a way out. All of the solutions that I thought of led to other, sometimes bigger problems. So I resigned myself to having a really bad day for the next couple of weeks.

Then at some point I realized that I was fine. I had energy, a smile, felt fine, and instead of feeling near tears I could feel my core of inner strength. I don’t think I’ve ever had a half-downer/half-hunky-dory truth day before. Analyzing it like I would a dream my conclusion is that I’m really happy right now because I’m realizing a dream of being a homeowner. Life is beautiful right now. Life is awesome right now. But my body gave me a warning shot: I’m pushing myself too hard right now and cannot sustain this pace for too much longer. Apparently my body and my subconscious are looking forward to moving into our house as well, they don’t want to stop the preliminary work, they just want to make sure I take a personal vacation after the move. (I promise.)

Posted July 17, 2010 by mayakey in conscious living, psychology

One response to “Truth Day – I’m Doing Too Much

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  1. You are right.your pushing your self to the limit without thinking that body needs a litttle rest.Dont be to harsh on yourself things will be’ll see..Relax!!

    Chill out!

    Laying laminate flooring

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